Scientists who spent three years listening to whales discovered some amazing facts:
1) You really do end up looking like a prune if you spend too long in the water and…
2) Whales will abandon their traditional songs in favour of newer, catchier tunes.
It’s true. In 1995, whales living off Australia’s east coast were visited by a group from the Indian Ocean. Within a short time, a few of the locals starting humming the song brought in by the immigrant whales. A short time after that, everybody was singing it and Casey Kasem (look him up, youngsters) had to announce a new number one hit on the Whale Song Top 40.
Now, this finding had a number of important implications. First of all, the popularity of the new song may have provided definitive proof that Elvis did not die, but has instead been reincarnated as a humpback doing gigs around the Great Barrier Reef.
Second, it reinforces my theories about music and water. Whales, who live in the ocean, belt out the tunes at 170 decibels. Humans, while in the shower, will attempt operas at no less than 175 decibels. Coincidence? I think not.
Typically though, the researchers involved in this study made the usual assumptions and blanket statements. Michael Noad, the team leader, said “A”Such a revolutionary change is unprecedented in animal cultural vocal traditions…” I hate to put a blowhole in this theory, but can we be sure of this?
For all we know, pop bands like the Backstreet Belugas could have been storming the charts for weeks. I’m pretty sure the soundtrack to Free Willie would have been popular, and has anyone been monitoring the R&B (reefs and breakers) scene? But no, in spite of the lack of data, scientists insist that the song change was just a (forgive me!) fluke.
Worse, the study authors came up with the same boring old explanation for the change in tune: the male whales want to impress the ladies. If you are a female and suddenly there’s a male that’s singing something different, a little bit innovative, then he will stand out from the crowd. In other words, the trend was started by an Andy Narwhal out there looking for his 15 minutes of fame.
(Question: Does a popular whale singer attract groupys?)
Frankly though, I think we should consider the idea that whale song might be used for something other than trying to impress the bottlenosed babes down at the sandbar. For one thing, the new song recorded by the Aussie scientists became popular pretty quickly. If all the guys are singing it, how are females supposed to tell one male from another?
BALEEN: He’s having treble hitting that high note, don’t you think?
EILEEN: Maybe, but I’m growing frond of his style.
For another thing, there’s the matter of time. I mean, these ‘songs’ apparently last anywhere from seven to fifteen minutes, and unless female whales are really into the long, weepy ballads, they’re more likely to make a quick judgment based on the size of his… dorsal fin.
No, we have to be open to the possibility that whales may have another reason for singing — a higher porpoise if you will.
Author John Maddox once penned a book called What Remains To Be Discovered, suggesting we were in the twilight years of scientific discovery. And yet we’ve only fairly recently learned that animals can engage in cultural exchange.
There’s a whale of a tale yet to be spun about life on Earth.